Co-Creating

Co-creating. Say wha? Whaddya mean, I am co-creating my experiences with others? Yeah, I can't control what others think or say (though I have wanted to) - but that we are actually co-creating, co-producing, co-sharing our experience? This is something I have to sit back and think about.

Why this is even coming up with my sessions with Ellie is this: over the weekend I had a watershed moment concerning what other people think of me, of shouldering responsibility for everyone in the world and for caring and worrying about it ALL. To say the least, it has affected my health. The stress I have placed on myself has been enormous and I am at that point where I cannot do it anymore.

Anyway, I had a facial appointment Saturday morning. Man, I could not wait for it; I wanted to relax and be pampered. And I was running late. About 10-15 minutes late. I HATE arriving late to anything. As I am driving along the interstate this was running through my head: Oh no, I'm late, she is going to be pissed with me. Oh crap, I am going to make her late with the rest of her appointments for the rest of the day. It will be like the domino affect; one person late, and one by one, each subsequent appointment gets further and further away from the arranged start time. How inconsiderate of me!

As this little story ran through my head like a little ferret chasing a ball, I took a deep breath and said: "Relax. Now why is it exactly my problem? She (the facialist) is a professional. I doubt you are the first customer she has had who was late for an appointment. Her latter appointments are NOT your problem. Your job is to get to your destination in one piece without harming others on the road. Chill."

Whooosh. That feeling of shame and fear went away and I safely arrived at my destination. Andrea greeted me with a smile, showed me to my room and accepted my apologies without making a big deal. And the facial was great!

I wrote about this experience in an appreciation list and noted that this was pretty big for me. For as long as I could remember I have felt the need to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. I don't know exactly why I took on this super-human task and quite frankly don't care. What I care about is what I do NOW.

Ellie also noted this achievement from my list; this is when she mentioned co-creation. According to Ellie, I was not the only architect in this situation. Andrea was also building and creating this moment between us. To think, this sharing of creation is happening around us in all our dealings with others. Why didn't I think of that? Of course, if one's approach to life is to take responsibility for all that is wrong, I guess it is not too far-fetched to think I was fully responsible for the course in all of my interactions with other people.

This is something to think about more and observe as I trip along life. It is so funny how the simplest of things reveal such vast and profound meanings.